And Now For Something A Little Different ...

TALES FROM THE DRYER

Episode I

Seth wanted to be a guitar player. It had been a dream of his for some time. Of course, there was one small obstacle -- he first had to buy the guitar. And then learn how to play it. Okay, that's two small obstacles. These might not seem like huge obstacles, and in fact, the first one was probably the greater of the two. That would be because it carried with it a smaller, more subtle obstacle -- Seth didn't actually have the money to buy the guitar.

He knew that if he wanted to be a guitarist that he would actually have to buy one first. That is, unless a guitar was ever presented to him for a birthday (it was not) or for Christmas (not a chance). Or, in the case that he decided to steal one. Stealing was not something Seth was really into, being plagued (to a certain degree) with an annoyingly sufficient level of honesty to prevent such an action. The thought of stealing a guitar never entered his mind. Although the coveting and envying of guitars was a regular practice for him. But those are vices for another day.

So being jobless, he went and and did what he knew he had to do, what anyone would do in his situation. He went to his parents and begged for the money. Now, it is significant to note that he went to his dad first. He always thought his dad to be more sympathetic to his needs and desires. He also knew that his father had played the guitar as a young man and he hoped this would work in his favor. He was also willing to sit through his father's boring stories of those days, stories he has heard a million times before. Seth's dad knew his only son wanted to play guitar (as Seth had been bitten by that particular bug 4 years previously) and had often regaled him with tales from his own misspent youth.

And so it was, when Seth finally worked up the fortitude needed to face his father. His father did indeed bombard Seth once more with his own deep love of his wanton youth, he loved revisiting every nook and cranny and revelled in each and every thrice-told, bell-bottomed, Floydian-enhanced tale. In order to appease Seth's mother, however, his father did make the pretense of footnoting each remembrance as a dressed up "cautionary tale" about how he had "wasted so much time" listening to Zeppelin, stoned, trying to chase girls, rather than paying attention in his calculus or government studies classes.

"Son", he would say, placing a hand on Seth's shoulder, pursing his lips and speaking in a mock regretful tone, "If I had payed more attention to what a rhombus was instead of wasting so much time hanging out in record shops" -- he actually called them record shops -- "and learning the chords to 'Heartbreaker' I would have a better job now." (Of course, his father had a fine job, but this last part was always added for effect. Seth simply rolled his eyes)

During this little speech, Seth's mom would usually be somewhere nearby, folding clothes, watching television, or passing through the room. But each time, Seth saw a twinkle in his dad's eye that pretty much nullified every word he had so eloquently spoken just moments before. Seth knew by the ever-so-faint smile on his dad's face, the distant look in the eyes, that his father missed those days. They were days he longed for, and treasured. There was something special about those wild days of sex, drugs, and rock and roll...

Seth had to have that guitar.